Many a bubble gum, popcorn, american movie
has cast a boy
in precarious privacy, snatching at something of his
under the sheets and stirring.
Staring at sirens of the screen
or at the centre of open legs, explicit in a magazine...
But for a girl to be filmed doing the same – it becomes
erotic, too sexual, rated 18.
To this we both agreed, and that's how it began.
Together often, intentions disguised, meetings unplanned
commitment diminished – the very ensemble of features presenting
intimacy – yes;
for a fetish flooded.
A longing prolonged.
Roaming for weeks on end
between tacit flirting
and void like separation endorsed and understood.
Until again our wanting set against each other
urban city soaked,
Two lovelies unable to play ball
unless the other threw first.
To ebb the tide of our raging rivers
into a tranquil lake,
came her dreadful disguise to form a study.
came my answers pedantic in accuracy
of a me she never had in mind...
like a turn that never came the circle
a third text unanswered
in a night which ran and ran.
She... escaped from completism
Eluding to a thing
she had no heart to say
nor thumbs to tell.
desire, pinning, loss,
'she's a bitch anyway',
dismantling, dismissing, clipping of the girl,
I curated as angel.
Going on as if I desired you further than something sexual.
Going on as if I didn't want you weaker.
Going on as if didn't want you naïve.
Going on as if I'd never done the very same thing
and scorned the person of lesser interest.
Going on as if I've ne-vaaa.
By chima nsoedo